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I'm planning to make a post, which contains a lot of background information which I think is important to make clear what kinds of solution I'm not looking for, but isn't very important for those who don't plan to make an answer. The part I'm referring to is put for highlighting purposes as block quote here. Correct me if I'm wrong and I could just cut it away, but if that isn't the case I would like to have some hints on how I could format it into the post without distracting the general reader too much?

The post I'm planning to do looks right now like this:


First a bit of background story:

I'm asking this in the context of playing the computer game Overwatch and therefore internet-anonymity as one problem has to be kept in mind.

When I started playing the game I got as soon I had some experience a typical command giving a player who just blamed others for not following up commands and strategies when it wasn't running according to (my) plan.

After a bit of self-learning I learned that it is important to keep everyone's morale up by pointing out what went well and just pointing on mistakes if they happen repeatedly and might be caused by unawareness of the problem.

Also I learned, it is important to neither have a team of 6 commanders nor have a team of 6 followers. So I learned to try to grab the commander rule as I feel most comfortable with it but if someone else is not willing to follow I follow his commands to prevent splitting a call following the team.

Also I'm clearly and neutral communicating (and always trying to do it without any judgment) what I see might be a problem. And if I have no idea I ask the others if they have an idea what actually is causing trouble.

If the response is calm and objective, that leads sometimes to great changes mid game twisting it to our advantage.

What leads to the problem:

But sometimes others simply deny communicating what they think is going on. And I think most of them are playing in a competitive manner the game as I do as they1 want to win. So why they don't communicate their observations? And instead of at some point just break out in blaming some specific player in a very subjective and most of the time even insulting way.

If I'm able to abstract their worries from such statements I try to argue and/or fix it if I agree with the problem. But in a situation where a player just starts to insult me and subjectively blames me for losing the game I feel like losing control of the situation and since this is a typical fight or flight situation where flight would be penalized by game mechanics, I react to it with an outbreak of counter insulting aggression and totally losing focus of the game. (Which I totally hate, as it will take me up to several hours to calm down again.)

tl&dr

How can I keep control over a before mentioned situation, prevent my self from tempering tantrum and in the ideal case pulling the subjectively motivated offender to mention objectively his point of view instead of figuratively provoking me to flip the gaming table?


1Let's exclude immature players that just play to annoy others or players that don't know better from this assumption

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This is my first meta post, so go easy on me! Let me know if I'm answering badly.

I think you can boil this down to a paragraph or two. Yes, it's not as effective at communicating your situation, but the real problem is people and how to deal with them. You can describe that very concisely.

If I were you, I'd post something like this. This would be a minimum of text, just as an example :


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How do I deal with players that don't communicate effectively, yet blame me for losing a team-based online game?

I often play the game Overwatch online. I usually prefer the command role, however I'm willing to follow if it improves team performance, which is my primary objective.

Occasionally, I encounter players that don't communicate effectively. Sometimes these player will blame me for losing a game after it's complete. The game penalizes me for leaving the game, so I'm stuck with them. This situation causes me to lose my patience and behave aggressively, even after the game is done.

What can I do do avoid flipping the proverbial gaming table?

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