I believe in neutrality (like my most D&D characters).
While most people always attempt to use a polite approach to solve a problem, sometimes a non-conventional method is needed to achieve a difficult goal.
I'd turn the tables. Every time she proposes and pushes her ideas on how to improve your life, propose your ideas to improve hers, 'I'll do it if you do this' type of thing. Personally I'd look for something difficult or inconvenient to follow through, something with some rigmarole. Present it with love & affection, and take no for an answer. If you do it right, you will save yourself a lot of time & heartaches.
This is certainly not an ideal solution for us polite people, but I believe this is a valid attempt to answer, and a valid interpersonal strategy against a person that is proven to be immune from conventional approach.
Interpersonal skill is just a tool, and tool is neutral, and should stay be. The answer might be not a popular one, but it is a valid answer, and should not be deleted. The OP has the options. Let him choose one.
While most of us don't like passive-aggressive approach, please do not delete a valid attempt to answer. If you do not agree, downvote. Let the OP see his options.
So, what does the community say about these use of non-conventional approach?