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Note: this question was originally about why a question got closed, but it is also about what close reasons were applied and why. I have edited the title to make this explicit. So kindly do not remove the close-reasons tag repeatedly from this question even if you disagree with its use here, unless you are a moderator. Also read the more detailed 'Note on close-reasons tag' at the end of this question.

Note 2: I am glad to see that the closed question referenced here has now been reopened within hours of closing because OP took the initiative to substantially re-word his question based on feedback from users. I applaud OP's demonstration of good faith and also greatly appreciate the integrity of the 4 close-voters who reopened this question after OP made those improvements by edit.

This is the attitude and maturity that will make this rapidly growing Interpersonal.SE a great site!

How to align personal interests with family?

There is a specifically stated interpersonal conflict of opinion on this stated topic between OP and his wife. Remember that OP is probably not a native English speaker and he is basically trying to ask how he can resolve this interpersonal conflict betwern his wife's expectations and his own interests.

If the question was not clear enough then NVZ's edits especially to the title make the question crystal clear and it certainly looks very much on-topic, stating a specific interpersonal problem with adequate background information -- inspite of which NVZ (after making the question clearer by editing) and 4 others voted to close OP's question.

What close reasons were applied to vote closed this question?

Why did you think this is not the type of question that should be asked at this website?

We often cast close votes for different reasons and I have seen a question at ELU (dont remember which) closed officially as 'off-topic' which 'earned' 1 close vote for 'too broad', 1 vote for 'lack of research', 1 vote for 'primarily opinion based' and only 2 votes for 'off topic' but the reader will think 5 people agreed it was off topic!

So each close-voter might ideally post an answer to this meta question explaining their reason for close voting, so that users can better understand how the site works and what 'not' to post here.

Moreover I think this question is a proper and on-topic question for this site, even if users disagree with OP's point of view, and therefore needs to be reopened.

Note on 'close-reasons' tag:

I originally added 'close-reasons' tag because this question is also about close-reasons: about how close voters apply different close reasons while voting to close a question. 'Scope' tag added by another member already refers to whether OP's Q is on-topic. It is my observation that questions are sometimes closed for one reason and a different close-reason is unintentionally applied. Moreover the 5 close votes can have different close reasons only one of which appears on the closing banner.

AJ specifically opined in a comment that the question was 'too broad' while Bradley Wilson in his answer made the pertinent statement that "I voted to close this as off-topic when really I should have chosen 'unclear what you're asking'"

This is why I have retained this tag, after reading the guidelines for using the tag 'close-reasons'. Kindly do not remove it again unless a moderator insists on doing so.

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  • You mean OP's question is too broad, @AJ? I can't imagine how it is too broad. Please explain why, preferably as an answer. That would give OP some idea how to narrow the question for reopening.
    – English Student
    Aug 28, 2017 at 9:06
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    It's too broad and it seems to work on Parents SE.
    – A J Mod
    Aug 28, 2017 at 9:11
  • @AJ Even if it is a parenting question, there is a specifically stated interpersonal conflict of opinion on this topic between OP and his wife. Remember that OP is probably not a native English speaker and he is basically trying to ask how he can resolve this interpersonal conflict betwern his wife's expectations and his own interests. A question being well suited for another site is apparently not a reason to close it here. But I am more interested to know why you think it is too broad?
    – English Student
    Aug 28, 2017 at 9:13
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    Please read the usage guidance for the [close-reasons] tag.
    – Mithical
    Aug 28, 2017 at 9:37
  • Good point @Mithrandir. I originally added 'close-reasons' tag because this question is also about how close voters apply different close reasons while voting to close a question. 'Scope' tag added by another member already refers to whether OP's Q is on-topic. It is my observation that questions are sometimes closed for one reason and a different close-reason is unintentionally applied. Moreover the 5 close votes can have different close reasons only one of which appears on the closing banner. This is why I have retained this tag, after reading what you kindly suggested.
    – English Student
    Aug 28, 2017 at 9:43

2 Answers 2

Reset to default
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Update: The OP has listened to our queries and has re-worded as such, I think it's fit to reopen now. Good job!

I voted to close this as off-topic when really I should have chosen 'unclear what you're asking'. Like you said, he could have been asking about the interpersonal problem of him and his wife, but it's our job to read what is asked, not what might be said. Also, He doesn't state the aims in the question except should he throw away his interests to force himself to look after the child? We can't assume to read between the lines unless he explicitly says so. So I think the question needs rewording before it's reopened.

To add to what @AJ said in the comments, I feel it's too broad because:

  • We don't know the child's age.
  • We don't know how much time is really expected from his wife, nor' do we know how much time he currently spends with his child. Sometimes isn't much to go on.

I think these questions need answering before someone can give a definitive answer. It's very much on-topic if the reasoning is what you believe it is. but we won't know for sure until the OP has specified. Otherwise, it'll attract answers that don't answer the true aims of the question, which qualifies for it being put [on hold] at this time.

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  • Thanks for the explanation, @Bradley Wilson. This type of action to avoid possibly inaccurate answers to a question that needs more detail and context is very much the 'right purpose' of putting a question 'on hold.' Your answer clarifies matters better for me and gives OP many options to improve his question.
    – English Student
    Aug 28, 2017 at 9:51
  • Yeah. We should get these sorted out first, before anyone casts the final vote to reopen.
    – NVZ
    Aug 28, 2017 at 10:00
  • This question really feels like it belongs much more on Parenting SE.
    – BACKPFEIFENGESICHT
    Aug 28, 2017 at 14:59
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It is now totally reworded, and I have voted to reopen.

Close > Improve > Reopen is the right procedure. If we had not closed it earlier, we would have received poor answers. It would help no one, not even the OP.

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  • Thank you. +1 for a really constructive action that strongly demonstrates your committment to this website, @NVZ.
    – English Student
    Aug 28, 2017 at 9:57
  • But others are free to disagree. They can keep it closed. @englishstudent
    – NVZ
    Aug 28, 2017 at 9:57
  • It is a big step in the right direction, @NVZ. OP has also made a good effort to convince voters to reopen his question.
    – English Student
    Aug 28, 2017 at 9:58

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