I posted three or maybe four comments beneath this question
The first one, which seemed to have met up with some consensus, mentioned that the OP's questions had planted the seed of doubt in his friend's mind, and that it was important to discuss religious differences and the upbringing of children before marriage (or words to that effect).
Another comment asked the OP to reflect back on how he talked to his friend, and that tone of voice and body language is important in communication. Anyway, I'm used to EL&U deleting off-topic comments, but the comments today were on topic, and the OP's reply, which is still present
@Mari-LouA Exactly Mari and that's what I wanted to convey but I lost a friend in the process (she never talked with me again)
does not make sense without knowing what was said previously.
Were my comments offensive or inflammatory? Were they deleted because they were considered "answers"?
They must have been flagged by more than one member of the community, so can I ask why those comments were flagged and subsequently deleted?
Here is a screenshot of the comment section as it appears now. You can tell comments have been deleted, the thread is interrupted and disjointed as a result.
UPDATED 9th september 2017
The two comments were deleted by a mod. The reason for the deletion is mentioned in HDE 226868♦'s answer, which states the following:
- Comments can't be downvoted; answers can.
- Comments can't be edited, corrected, or in any other way modified (except by mods, and we don't do that except for extenuating circumstances)
- Comments are temporary and are used to improve the post. After that they should be deleted.
- Answers should be written as . . . answers. Answers written in comments will likely be deleted.
The two comments were received positively. In fact, neither one was flagged by anyone in the community. The comments were not misleading, inaccurate, or false. Comment No. 1 was my modest attempt to connect to another human being. I wanted the OP to be aware that his (gentle?) inquiry could not be lightly brushed off or ignored (the seed of doubt). By itself comment No.1 does not constitute a fully fledged answer, it was meant to comfort more than anything else.
Besides, if I had posted an answer the following would have happened: Someone would have posted a comment asking me what experience I had with interfaith marriages, what evidence was there to support my answer, whether I was qualified to answer, and why I thought my suggestion would work.
Those kinds of comments have effectively discouraged me from answering more questions on this site. I suppose the commenters might argue: "Mission accomplished!"
Comment No.2 was left because it was important to know how the OP spoke to his Christian friend.
Funnily enough, mods leave comments all over the place on ISP, so it's one rule for the community and another for the moderators. All users are equal, but some users are more equal than others.
- Catija ♦ has posted 315 comments
Were these comments asking the OP to clarify? No, they can also be answers. Below is just one example ...
A similar poster, in English: http://everythingfunny.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/1bbb18.jpg Also, in English we say "put it out", not "put it off". (1 upvote) link
- HDE 226868 ♦ has posted 125 comments
Does he post comments that ask the poster to clarify? No, not always. Admittedly the comment below was posted two days ago and in response to Catija's. However, may I suggest that both comments served their purposes, and should have been deleted by now.
@Catija Heh, my sister's done that to me in the past. :-) To be honest, in a situation like this, playfulness can be really good at some ages and not-so-good in others. For a teenager (even a young one), I'm imaging mixed reactions. (0 upvotes) link
- John ♦ has posted only 25 comments since he joined IPS.
Obviously, he doesn't fall in the chatty category. In fact, you barely feel his presence on the site, I suspect he works silently in the background whereas @Catija ♦ and HD 222...♦ seem to be very hands-on type of mods. Nevertheless, no one is immune from leaving off-topic comments or helpful suggestions...
Practice, Practice, Practice – John♦ Jul 30 at 23:53 (14 upvotes) link
How many comments have I posted? Well, not counting all the comments I have deleted, and those that were deleted by others the grand total is 37 comments but I have been a member for only 27 days.