So, I've been an avid user of interpersonal skills for a little while now and have gained a decent amount of rep from being so. I'm also an avid fan of bounties so I've decided today to mix the two.

From the first 104 days (as of today) that IPS.SE has been in action, I've gained numerous perspectives on plenty of different scenarios that we all encounter on a day to day basis and have also learned from them, which made me follow suit on HDE's post highlighting the 50-day milestone and give back to the community: Rewarding the best answers in the first 50 days of Interpersonal Skills.

The same rules apply (with subtle changes to the rep amounts and of course, dates.):

  • Write an answer to this post with a link to the answer you're nominating and a short paragraph explaining why the answer is one of the best. Only nominate one answer in each meta answer.
  • The answer must have been written prior to 10/10/2017, 19:00 GMT.
  • No self-nominations allowed! Let's try to be generous to other people.
  • The meta nomination answer with the most upvotes - not net score, but upvotes - wins. The score of the actual answer does not matter; remember, some of the best answers may have gone unnoticed.
  • The #1 answer will get a bounty of +500, the #2 answer will get a bounty of +300, and the #3 answer will get a bounty of +200. (I will be putting up all that rep)
  • Voting ends on 10th November 2017, 0:00 GMT.

May the best answer win!


  • Seeing as the last one wasn't so popular, I've upped the rep amounts as an incentive, but that will change if it turns out to be the same as last time (I'll decide when the deadline hits). But, I don't think that'll happen again. There have been plenty of brilliant answers after the 50-day mark!
  • Feel free to contribute rep, but don't feel obligated to. I'm happy to throw all the rep at this.
  • If you have any questions regarding the model of this post, please refer to the 50-day meta post before leaving a comment.


  1. Winner - Ever Lee Foxton's answer to Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence gaining 500 rep
  2. Runner up - BradC's answer to How can I stop my friend from replying "anything" when asking them what they'd like to eat? gaining 300 rep
  3. Joint Third - Threetimes's answer to Should I always ask a dog owner before I pet their dog? && OldPadawan's answer to How do I learn to pick my battles a little better? gaining 200 rep each
  • 2
    I'm signing up for contributing rep here!
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Commented Oct 11, 2017 at 15:06
  • Very different from the reward contest on Movies & TV.
    – A J Mod
    Commented Oct 16, 2017 at 4:14
  • Do the answers must be written from 8/15/2017 to 10/10/2017, or just before 10/10/2017? Is answer already nominated on the 50 days event eligible for nomination?
    – Vylix
    Commented Oct 16, 2017 at 4:42
  • @vylix any answer prior to the time of posting this question is eligible, yes. Commented Oct 16, 2017 at 11:32
  • 2
    Perhaps, we should tag this "featured"? Ask a mod, if you think that's a good idea.
    – NVZ
    Commented Oct 20, 2017 at 18:37
  • Has voting time ended on this contest @Bradley W? Commented Nov 10, 2017 at 9:03
  • @EnglishStudent It has. Commented Nov 10, 2017 at 13:10
  • 2
    wow! got 3rd (too old to wiggle, but hey! still celebrating ^^)
    – OldPadawan
    Commented Nov 10, 2017 at 14:19
  • 1
    Many thanks to @ Bradley Wilson and @Tinkeringbell for donating the bounty points to reward these excellent answers, and also to HDE226868 who rewarded the winner of the August contest: I really appreciate how you are creating a great model for generous sharing here on IPS.SE! Commented Nov 10, 2017 at 16:55

9 Answers 9


This answer by @Ever Lee Foxton to my question of 'Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence'

It already has received some bounties, but it's in my opinion still one of the best answers written on this site.

First of all, it's extensive. It deals with every way possible that Alice's autism could have influenced her behavior, it mentions things I (as a 'normal' person) would never have considered.

It also gives some very nice tips on how to proceed.

And, last but not least: It was a very courageous thing to write such an answer, to give so much personal experience and information!

  • 3
    Amazingly detailed answer by @Ever Lee Foxton to a question asked by @ Tinkeringbell: This answer based accurately and powerfully on personal experience is long but so scarily good because the author really gets into the mind of a person with a social disability and explains the whole situation from her perspective: also gives comprehensive advice for OP to deal constructively with this person. Commented Oct 17, 2017 at 8:40
  • This answer having received a bounty earlier need not be a consideration IMHO because we want to identify the very best answers on IPS regardless of previous upvotes or bounty. Oh yes this answer deserves the top spot after 100 days, for sure! Commented Oct 17, 2017 at 8:58
  • This answer is really great and not just because it applies to the situation described by the question. It gives a really accurate insight into what it's like to live with ASD (well, for my experience anyway) and I would be confident in saying that anyone who has an autistic friend, family member, partner, or colleague should read it to learn more about why we react socially the way we do.
    – Groggo
    Commented Oct 19, 2017 at 11:06

I'd like to nominate OldPadawan's excellent answer to my... um... not so excellent question.

Despite the problems with the question, they seemed able to see through the muck and served up a really good, well written, and thoughtful answer. Not to mention that it's just generally good advice that I need to learn to keep in mind...

  • 2
    I decently can't UV this one :) but thank you so much for pointing out, as I really feel proud of this one. Just being there is already a great reward. Thumb up!
    – OldPadawan
    Commented Oct 11, 2017 at 6:11
  • 1
    Best part: "Last, but not least, after stepping in the other person's shoes, I would just realize that they were right and I was wrong :) and had learnt something, that they just had widened my mind." Really good answer @OldPadawan! Commented Oct 17, 2017 at 8:50

I'm nominating BradC's answer to How can I stop my friend from replying "anything" when asking them what they'd like to eat?

This was a great example of showing insight into the OP's situation. Not only did it offer a good solution, but it explained why it was a valid problem to begin with. While the accepted answer is still a great solution for the OP's situation, I believe this answer has the extra depth which will help future readers on either side solve similar issues (paging Rand al'Thor and their 68 upvoters.. :) ).

  • 2
    As the OP of that question, I agree. The answer just addresses the very motivation that even I don't realize. It's just elegant.
    – Vylix
    Commented Oct 12, 2017 at 7:20

Answer from threetimes to Should I always ask a dog owner before I pet their dog?

Reason: Answer includes a more relevant point not included in the question itself.


Answer from Rose Hartman to How to deal politely with people asking about your job but unable to understand it?

Reason: Extensive and practical answer, and I like it a lot.

  • Nominated 5 entries, hope this is not pushing it too far :P
    – Marc.2377
    Commented Oct 16, 2017 at 4:11
  • No problem. Just be sure they're worth a bounty. Adding a good explanation will help others understand why they are worth the bounty.
    – NVZ
    Commented Oct 16, 2017 at 5:05

This was hard. I had several really excellent answers in mind.

I would like to nominate Tinkeringbell's answer to Does talking about mildly taboo topics with people normalize the subject for them?

Though I wasn't sure if this interesting question was on or off-topic, and though it didn't receive many upvotes, Tinkerbingbell didn't write a superficial answer. She really put an effort understanding the question, analyzing it and doing research by providing links and definitions when needed, to give one of the best answers I've read in a while. Good job!

  • 2
    Only nominate one answer in each meta answer... No rules about not writing multiple answers ;)
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Commented Oct 11, 2017 at 15:05

Answer from Tinkeringbell to I have been asked to keep a secret about a surprise that I believe will end poorly

Reason: A sensible and practical solution, backed by personal experience, while still flexible on its own merits.


Answer from GlorfSf to How to gently tell someone that you just want to be friends?

Reason: Draws attention to what is (imo) the most important aspect of the problematic, and proposes a fair solution.


Answer from Kat to What reply is expected to the query “How are you?”

Reason: Very thorough answer to what was apparently an obvious question.

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