How “ranty” may a question be?
Not. See the don't ask section of our help center:
your question is just a rant in disguise: “______ sucks, am I right?”
Now, the problem here is that there's an actual question hidden beneath the rant, it gets buried underneath one. As I've stated in my comment reversing the post to its first revision, the good question was already there. It just needed 2 culture 'tags': one for the culture the OP was in and one for the culture of OP's friend. This should preferably have been stated in the question body as well.
It appears to be held as "too broad", but the fairly extensive commentary seems to be focused on two issues:
Wrong. Just one issue.
I did not start close voting that question because I was missing information I just edited out. What was missing were two words, two locations. A simple sentence, that could have read:
We're currently living in X, but my friend's background is Y.
Nowhere in the rant I reversed was there a name for this culture/location, nor was the current culture/location of the people involved stated. What there was: disrespect for an entire culture and directly and nakedly insulting people or groups of people.
I'd like to use your own words against you:
There's the kernel of a good answer in there ("Watch out! GF is manipulating you!") which OP might do well to consider, but the tone is so ... feral that this gets lost. link
The same is happening with this question, in the form that OP wants it to be. See the first comment I made on that question:
I'm going to roll this back to its first revision. The things you added after that are reading like an angry rant and seem to violate the be nice policy It detracts from the value of your post that you're using it to call a whole group of people names. It is fine to discuss this with your friend in private, but it isn't necessary information to answer this question. – Tinkeringbell yesterday
It is problematic content, and as soon as it gets reopened like this, there will be comment threads and answers arguing for and against points from the rant, instead of helping the OP with their problem.
Does it "launder" his criticisms that he's quoting his friend? That is, might we accept this criticism not as gospel, but as OP's friend's frustration with the very cultural complex that is giving him trouble?
No. Let's say the friend had written this question himself. Then all of the above would still apply. The question would still have been a rant in disguise. The content would still be problematic. The question would still have been valid without the rants later edited in. There still wouldn't be a current location and a name for the culture/region where the pressure for OP to marry is from.
Now, as for how this question could be improved. See the answer of @Magisch, there are some really good suggestions there. I didn't even take these into account while starting the close-voting, the only thing I wanted to see were 2 locations.
While he does wax hyperbolic -- and the Sati part isn't really germane, because nobody's a widow yet -- non-Indian readers might very well need the extra context to understand the depth of the pressure that OP-friend is facing.
See? You're calling it Sati here. Edit in a Wikipedia link and you're done. No need for the rant. If the OP really wants to address issues like this, because to them it represents the seriousness of the problem, simply mentioning something like
There's a ritual called Sati, that's still practised. Basically, it means that widows are expected to die at the funeral pyre of their husband.
will get the point across.
Personally, one of the comments the OP made under the question gave me a much better impression of the seriousness of the whole thing, than the entire rant in the question:
I could give you an example, say, you get married and suddenly the mother in law comes in and asks you to quit your job and become a breeding machine. Your husband whom you had trusted and thought of as a companion suddenly changes and asks you 'to listen to your mother'. You aren't allowed to program, mess around on your arduino or have any hobbies. You are to live and raise children. You experience a loss of individuality like no other. Since I have only heard about this from someone else myself, I still cannot fathom what is so right about this. – kwonli 21 hours ago
Minus that last sentence, this is an example that's going to appeal to a lot more people than the whole rant about backwards traditions.
Most of these paragraphs containing the ranting can probably be summarized back to 1 or 2 sentences, describing the tradition and where it fits in to a pressure to marry. Or, they can be entirely deleted because, yes, they describe the culture of OP's friend in a very negative manner, but they don't address:
- how miserable the OP's friend actually is.
- an example of how people are pressuring OP into marriage.
For example:
Rape is at an all time high. In keeping a backward culture alive (which is in on itself is used as an excuse to perpetrate all the evil in the name of keeping 'traditions' alive ), they have actually promoted a culture of sexual repression, in the name of 'protecting women', these idiots have outright banned and shamed sexuality, not only is the effect opposite, it leads to a generation of aggressive males for whom sexual violence is common relief (it is to be noted that this repression is tantamount if not the prime reason for the creation of these people, another reason being the general toxic living environment). This has lead to an escalation of rapes across the whole country, generally perpetrated by males born and raised in a not-so-advanced socioeconomic environment when after living in a repressed one are introduced to modern day city elements.
I honestly can't see, how rape is connected to causing misery because of a pressure to marry.
The culture tag he wants (almost certainly India) does not exist. Won't spend much time talking about that.
Well, I will spend a few words on it. This is a good point, that I hadn't considered while vtc-ing. Next time, I'll be sure to include something in a comment like 'if you can't find what you're looking for, feel free to message me. I can add it for you'.
