I have read StackExchange for years but have never signed up and never saw the need to comment. Today I landed on StackExchange as a result of an unrelated specific web search and was distracted by a hot question:
I created an account specifically because no one has addressed one phrase in the Original Post: "She asked why I was making such a big deal" -- The Original Poster does not need to feel guilty. She started it. She stepped on his foot. When the OP reacted in pain she then negatively reacted to his reaction. Next, he reacted negatively to her reaction and now feels badly about it.
A lot of psychology reduces to stimulus-response. Each response becomes a new stimulus that induces a corresponding response.
To improve Interpersonal Skills, monitor your responses. You cannot control a stimulus but you can work on your responses. Responses are directional (since we are Techies here, should I call them Response Vectors?). A positive response often stimulates a corresponding positive response while a negative Response Vector often launches a volley of negative counter-vectors.
Anyhow, that is what I wanted to say and created an account to contribute. The OP should not feel guilty because 1) She attacked him first and 2) when he reacted she counter-attacked him, amping up the current and increasing the potential for a high-wattage duel.
The OP did not manipulate her, she manipulated him into her victim mentality. She's a victim and it is all his fault. Not.
Because I do not have the points or reputation as a new member, I cannot reply to the OP directly. Thus this post.
I understand the need to vett users, but why assume each newbie is awkward or malicious and not worthy of contributing? How can we be a bit more accepting of new members?