This was primarily spurred by yesterdays question of:
I think the title (and problem statement) is problematic here, for two reasons:
It is asking about a way to compel an action from someone. Not to talk to them about it, not to convince and persuade someone to do something, it's merely a "How can I get X to do Y (for me)" question, at least on the surface
It tacitly encourages non interpersonal answers. I think if the title were different, it'd do so much less. The conundrum of course is editing the question now would possibly invalidate a bunch of answers, but for the future, I think we could benefit from rewriting titles.
How can I get my sister to stop asking me to help her smoke?
to for instance
How can I make my sister understand I won't help her smoke, and have her stop asking me?
(courtesy of Tinkeringbell in chat)
How can I convey to my sister that I won't help her smoke in a respectful way so she stops asking me?
I think the latter two would definitely make it less likely that people will be inclined to write non IPS answers that we then have to delete.
So do you think we should be changing "How can I get X to do Y?" questions to a more IPS focused framing when we see them to alleviate people feeling encouraged to provide answers not focusing on interpersonal skills?