I'm going to edit this some as per Shog's suggestion. But not much.
This is a question on how to handle a troll, not NSFW language.
Please forgive the metaphor and the literary analysis, but we have something of a problem at this site which does remind me of a popular book. In Austin's Sense & Sensibility, the two Dashwood sisters represent opposite positions: Marianne is a romantic, an impulsive optimist willing to risk all and lose all, while Elinor is a realist, willing to face facts, limitations, adhere to traditional values and live with the joy that does come her way.
Clearly, both sisters are represented in spades on this site, as seen most recently in reactions to trolls.
Once again, we got a question with TMI that I perceived as a troll (I am the boring realist Elinor).
On bringing it to chat, there were the trusting Mariannes, the kind, optimistic people who wanted to think that the troll really wasn't a troll, but someone genuinely asking for help and meriting it. Some comments:
@anon let's just wait for a bit
My first goal is always to help the OP first.
@anongoodnurse Some people believe very strongly that this is a legitimate question that needs some work (how much work seems needed varies on the part of the reviewer), and some people believe very strongly that it's a troll post, and I think the consensus was that we need a meta post about it.
man my answer better get credit on that question if proven to be legit!
I'm not an expert in trolls. But c'mon! When someone flaunts a sexual act in your face, and bolds it, I vote, "let's operate under the reasonable assumption that this person is a troll.
The question was about how to refuse to do a particular thing during a sex act.
OK, fair enough. Sex is about as interpersonal as it gets. But let me phrase the entire question in a non-trollish way:
I love my boyfriend, and I like to please him, but he has this thing that he likes and I don't. How do I tell him I don't want to do what turns him on but turns me off?
This is broad, but it covers it without trolling. Help this person. They obviously need a little encouragement about boundaries and "No means no."
But a troll will write things that make people uncomfortable, often about something taboo or that "polite" people don't often discuss in public. They like to cause discomfort and strife. In my experience, they like to demean people as well. But I won't go there.
This troll was persistent. They had had the same question deleted a bit earlier. They returned with a bit more vitriol.
A nicer person might take it to meta and ask why their question had been deleted.
I myself don't understand why some people don't recognize trollish behavior when it slaps them in the face. If your stance is
You can't go wrong by assuming the best and trying to help.
Then please allow me to repeat Shog's admonishment from yesterday:
if you refrain from editing, closing, correcting out of fear of scaring off new users, you set the site on the path to ruin even without the aid of overt trolling! The goal here - as everywhere - is fairness to all, to be nice but unwavering. (emphasis mine)
In other words, don't be a Marianne. It doesn't end well.
Question 1 is not a question I asked, but which was assumed in answers, therefore deserves a question of its own (not this one, and someone else can post it.) Pertaining to uncomfortably explicit material: can we agree that content on this site should be polite? Polite isn't unkind; it's professional, like the "Be Nice" policy. Content which makes most users uncomfortable should not be viewed as acceptable but possibly naïve, and should be promptly edited to fit more conventional norms. If that is met with outrage on the part of the OP, that outrage should not be tolerated; tell them to take it to meta like everything else affecting this site.
Again, that is a separate question. The fact that trolls use sexually specific language is an aside, a means to identify some of them.
Question two: What to do with a person who is highly likely to be a troll? If we don't DV and delete, their content stays up. What is gained by assuming someone outrageously flaunting "normal"* values is not a troll? Does it give this site reputability? Or does it invite more of the same?
*Normal in this context is normal for the USA, the host site of the network. If you believe it's fine to walk around in your Japanese friend's house with muddy galoshes, then I admit "normal" does not apply.