I had a therapist for a year but they did nothing but waste my time and annoy me because of a state law. Should I try again? How?

Was closed for being off-topic, but at the moment of writing already has 2 reopen votes. Am I missing something? Has our policy of we don't do 'should I' questions changed while I was eating dinner? Do we no longer close questions that need professional help?

  • 3
    I saw this too and have no idea why it has any reopen votes. I would love for anyone to explain, because as it currently stands it's not appropriate on a couple different fronts (unless the rules changed while I was at lunch).
    – Jess K.
    Mar 8, 2018 at 18:57
  • given the reaction that the last question asking why a question was closed, I wouldn't expect the people who voted to reopen to be forthcoming.
    – user4548
    Mar 8, 2018 at 20:54
  • @RichardU I don't really get the first part... did you perhaps miss a word?
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Mar 8, 2018 at 20:59
  • @Tinkeringbell it's possible. I've gotten very little sleep last night.
    – user4548
    Mar 8, 2018 at 21:07
  • @Tinkeringbell Sorry.... better now. What I meant is that I doubt you'll get a response from whoever voted to reopen.
    – user4548
    Mar 9, 2018 at 17:12
  • It's not reopened. Seeing merely two reopen votes isn't a cause for concern.
    – NVZ
    Mar 15, 2018 at 22:15
  • @NVZ enjoy being happy, carefree and not taking things serious. Two reopen votes means two people disagreeing with the closure and those people haven't left a comment so there's no feedback for the closevoters to know what they did wrong, or what is wrong with the policies as they are discussed on meta now. It means there isn't a community consensus and that's concerning enough for me.
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Mar 16, 2018 at 6:15
  • 1
    I voted to delete and the question is now deleted. You're right, this question having two reopen votes very much affects the quality of IPS.Se. Mar 22, 2018 at 17:48

3 Answers 3


Since this still hasn't had any guesses I'm going to throw out a guess that some these votes are stemming from users who have enough reputation to do so now but don't actively participate in meta conversations enough to know that this question is very much off topic.

Sometimes I feel that people vote to close when they don't know how to answer a question and vote to open when they think they could say something useful, instead of voting based on site guidelines.


Since I am not one of the re-openers I can only theorize.

I have noticed that a lot of Stack Exchange users get excessively lenient as soon as it turns out OP is a child or is trying to help a child. Helping OP gets more important than rules and regulations. It may be a factor here.


You ask what is so good about that question?

It is a question of someone with an important personal problem looking for an answer. A good answer could possibly change the life of the OP in a significant way.

We have here all the time questions like: how can I ask this girl out or how can I talk to her etc. Some of these questions are skillfully asked to fit exactly the rules of this site. But if they would not get any answers nothing important would happen or not happen. They are not really important.

For me it seems the therapy question is important and it is a real challenge for the OP. Wouldn't we feel better if we could help the OP to find a good answer?

And that's the answer to your question: It is an important question and a good answer might make a big difference in the life of the OP.

Edit: I find it amazing that I have lots of down votes for this answer. It is an answer. Maybe not the answer you like to read but it is an answer why some people think this is a good question. If you don't like to hear answers which don't fit what you expect why do you ask?

  • 1
    I'd have to downvote this, because I disagree that the question is good based on the meta's we have here, and the fact that you call it a 'personal problem' already makes it clear that it isn't about Interpersonal Skills. I have to say I do appreciate you stepping forward and explaining why you thought it a good question though, that helps. It seems whatever is currently decided on meta is out of line with how you feel about what would make a good question for this site, so I hope you keep contributing your views on that :)
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Mar 21, 2018 at 13:25
  • @Tinkeringbell: My point is it is an interesting and important question. That is my personal opinion about the question as a question - not about how this question is suitable for this site or how this question is according to the rules here. Personally I don't care if I am in line with what is decided on meta or not. A person needs help, he get's help here, that is what counts - at least in my opinion.
    – user8838
    Mar 21, 2018 at 14:30
  • I appreciate the willingness to help, I really do. But this site is in beta, we'll have to develop a scope, and it would be nice if that scope is on meta, and people act like it. People need help, but would you go to StackOverflow and ask them to decide whether you should visit a therapist? According to your logic, all problems should be welcome here, which would undermine the SE system of having sites devoted to a certain topic.
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Mar 21, 2018 at 14:35
  • Have you ever read this? Are you in any way equipped to make decisions as important as one about therapy? What if you gave the wrong advice? What if you make the wrong decision for a random person whose circumstances you don't know?
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Mar 21, 2018 at 14:35
  • @Tinkeringbell: I have years of experience with therapy. I know it's good to get professional help and therapy. I get your point about wrong advise. People should be careful what they answer. And readers should not just accept anything other people write. At the end it's the OP's decision what he/she does. That's always like this. This site gives possible answers, never the one and only answer which the OP has to follow. We are not responsible is someone does something wrong and we should not feel responsible about that.
    – user8838
    Mar 21, 2018 at 14:47
  • 4
    Voting is how we show whether we agree with posts on Meta. The large number of downvotes here (generally) implies that the voters do not agree with your assessment. It's important to have answers that speak to both ends of the spectrum (and places in between) but to me, the voting here says "we think that your position is the wrong position for this site to be in and it shouldn't be policy here".
    – Catija
    Mar 21, 2018 at 15:15

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