How to communicate possible improvements in online-commentaries in a helpful way?

Question

Problem: Sometimes you read something on the internet and think it could benefit from additional facts, aspects or clarifications. For example on the various StackExchange sites, when you read an Answer and something is missing or unclear or just plain wrong.

Sadly, sometimes the author gets upset and defensive to such attempts.

As this is a very restricted form of communication you can´t use expressions or tone of voice to deescalate, so such incidents are naturally not very helpful to get the core information across.

The desired outcome it that the recipient of the comment openly considers the information/idea for improvement, without feeling attacked or lectured etc.

What is the best way to communicate possible improvements without triggering a negative response? Are there typical formulations to prefer or to avoid?

I want to refrain from giving specific examples, as answers then tend to get opinionated on who/what specifically went wrong in such an example. What I look for is a generally helpful approach that will help users of SE and elsewhere to communicate more effectively in that scenario

Answer 1

The best way that I've found is as follows.

• Begin in a friendly way. Point out what is right about the answer if possible.
• Provide constructive criticism, be specific on how the post may be improved.
• Use a soft tone. "You may want to consider" works much better than either "this is wrong" or an accusatory tone of "Well, what about left handed widget makers? did you forget about them?"
• Avoid negative words like "wrong", "incorrect"
• Be discreet so the person doesn't lose face. Comment on a post with all the tact you'd use if you were trying to warn a friend that his fly was open.
• Allow the person to save face and give the person an "out".

Most of all, remember that there is a real person that posted what you're commenting on. Address them in the same manner you would a friend in a public situation. Be kind, be helpful, and avoid being confrontational.

Answer 2

You ask really a pair of questions. These are: "What is the best way to communicate possible improvements" and "How do I not trigger a negative response?" One is completely within your control and the other is completely out of your control.

I won't comment on how to set someone's frame of mind. We don't know it; we don't know their personality; we don't know how invested they are in their verbiage. Some are more deeply invested in their position than others. Because of that, I'll only answer the first question. Hopefully that will enable the other person involved to avoid the second.

The only thing I can control is my response and actions. There are a couple of things I try to do when commenting or suggesting improvements.

1. Start by stating what I agree with and why
2. Be positive in my response to the post
3. Wherever possible state facts and not opinion
4. Keep in mind that I may be wrong
5. Try to say "I" instead of "you" or say "this post" instead of "your post".
6. Explain how the comment/edit improves the answer

One thing that has served me well is to start out with "this is a good answer and gets an upvote. I'd suggest improving it by... " and then adding my suggestion. That starts out by telling the poster that I agree with it but have something to add. I've also said "The only addition I could see to add would be..."

I admit I'm not perfect in following this but I try. And sometimes I need to step back and say "this person isn't accepting my suggestion; I need to let this go." I believe that arguing in online fora is not what I am about - sometimes that's pretty hard!