-1

It's been few week that I'm reading posts here, but unfortunately it seems that a lot of the interesting one get closed down. Either for being to broad or intrapersonal instead of interpersonal, but why shouldn't this forum be broader ?

People come to seek for help regarding their relation, why are those off topic when people are not here only about their interpersonal relation. If you're talking about your relation with other it is actually interpersonal problems. We all know there's not exactly such a thing as interpersonal skills : you can't learn that as your learned math or coding or whatever, but there's indeed interpersonal problems and there's some way to solve them, and there we can help.

Of course we shouldn't say: do this or do that, but if people are asking about advice on their relationships, we should definitively give them and it's not off topic. Even when they are opinion based why can't them be relevant ?

They end up here because they want some help; why couldn't we give it to them ? It's sad, because in the end OPs end up transforming their originals question just to stick to the "rules"...

  • 2
    For some of you that my question might feel even more aggressive and want to close my question directly : stackoverflow.blog/2018/04/26/… – user14435 May 4 '18 at 14:09
  • 6
    I guess many of us have read this blog post, and feel concerned, we know it's right. It's been discussed here, and still is. Many of us do our best. But: how is this blog post related to off/too-broad/opinion-based/closed topics? Because we weren't nice/polite while DV/closing? Otherwise, Richard-U gives some pretty good stuff to read. – OldPadawan May 4 '18 at 14:18
  • 4
    @OldPadawan Quick guess at what YCN- was trying to convey: They're asking a question, in good faith, about how the site works. As far as such posts go, this one as about as neutral as you can get, asking whether something should be on-topic or not. Yet, it gets to -7 in a matter of minutes. So I'd like everyone to keep this in mind a little more when voting, and use the votes to judge question quality and research effort instead of agreement/disagreement! – Tinkeringbell May 4 '18 at 15:04
  • @Tinkeringbell : I (really most of the time) assume good faith. If I read the last 2 paragraphs of OP, I'm pretty sure this is discussed and answered in one way or another (just checking "related links" on the right and searching a little). That's why I ask for clarification in my first comment. – OldPadawan May 4 '18 at 15:29
  • @OldPadawan I was guessing as to what the blog post has to do with it ;) not as to your intentions :). Sorry, I might've been able to make that clearer ;). As for related links, I get the impression that the 'are we here to help or not' was discussed in comments a few times, but not in an actual question? – Tinkeringbell May 4 '18 at 15:36
  • 5
    I often search for closed questions and make an effort to edit and reopen ones that have hope. Not all closed questions do. – BlackThorn May 4 '18 at 16:29
  • 3
    Nope, you're not the only one - I saw a question that got posted and closed overnight that I would really love to give advice on... but it's very broad and there's a fair chance I would get the OP's situation all wrong if I did, so I am patiently waiting for them to clarify! If I do feel the need to discuss relationship problems and open-ended advice with random internet strangers I usually go to Reddit ;) Sometimes this site just isn't the right venue for a particular problem. – Em C May 4 '18 at 20:26
  • 1
    That issue of people voting down out of disagreement goes a long way back affecting many SE sites. – J A May 7 '18 at 9:16
16

We are not a self-help site. We are not a psychiatric site. We are not an interpersonal problems site. We are not professionals and the rules are there for a reason.

There is such a thing as interpersonal skills. I know this because I'm autistic and had to learn them by rote. We are here to pass on the knowledge and wisdom about interpersonal skills such as etiquette, manners, conflict resolution, de-escalation, interpersonal relations, and other skills that keep us from murdering each other in the streets.

While it may seem a bit harsh, reality often is.

We may want to help people with various problems, but since we are not professionals, we may do more harm than good with the best of intentions. For that reason, we must play by the rules. There are other sites out there for self help, personal advice, relationship advice, et cetera. We are not one of those sites.

  • 3
    Isn´t every Stack-Exchange site is a problems site? What else would make people go to the Internets and ask questions to strangers? – user6109 May 4 '18 at 14:15
  • 7
    @Daniel The point is that we're not an advice column, or here to solve any problem you have, we're here to answer questions about interpersonal skills. The vast majority of them are asking for information about how use those skills to solve a problem they are facing, but there are some questions about theory here as well. I can't think of a single SE site that would consider a post just saying "I have a problem" on topic. – sphennings May 4 '18 at 14:19
  • 3
    @sphennings: Every single question on Stack overflow boils down to I have a problem ... (I want to do X and don´t know how) so, I don´t know what your are thinking of, but problem-solving is the essence, the reason for the existence of of SE. If you want to discuss interesting thoughts, a forum would be better. As very often mentioned on this meta, this is defiantly not a discussion site! – user6109 May 4 '18 at 14:26
  • Yeah right, but don't you think that a tool is defined by what user do with it ? I mean, if people ended -here- with those questions, it's that they feel like it's the right place to ask. I understand that it was not the first purpose of this SE, but why can't it change since it seems to be what it has became...? – user14435 May 4 '18 at 14:26
  • @YCN- : say we want to do things differently... how do you answer that question? – OldPadawan May 4 '18 at 14:32
  • 1
    @Daniel every stack is a SOLUTIONS site. – The Wraith May 4 '18 at 15:16
  • 2
    Do you hear yourself talking? So I put a solution online here to find the appropriate question? You cant separate the two and make any sense. That reminds me of HG2G i.e. the solution is 42... – user6109 May 4 '18 at 15:22
  • @Daniel exactly, which is why the QUESTION matters, just like in the book. And no, I don't hear myself talking. I am typing, not talking. – The Wraith May 4 '18 at 15:30
  • 8
    @YCN- it can't really change, because then it wouldn't fit into the wider plan of SE and get closed down. Interpersonal Skills are a suitable topic for a Stack, since they can be researched, learned, and there's experts on the topic. But like with every SE site, even the subjective ones, there's at least some rules. The kinds of questions about problems and how to solve them, when not directly related to problems with a certain skill, aren't a good fit according to those guidelines. – Tinkeringbell May 4 '18 at 16:58
-6

Well, this is still BETA.

Personal Skills or 'Emotional Intelligence Skills' could be more on spot. There are workshops where they teach these kind of skills, which are helpful for anyone, specially autistic people like another member answering declared himself to be.

Sufficiently inclusive without turning this into an irresponsible psychiatric ward.

It would include the same he mentioned, etiquette, manners, conflict resolution, de-escalation, interpersonal relations, and also social strategies and group dynamics.

  • 2
    Let me remind you that downvotes are used with answers that are off-topic, unrelated, badly formatted, poorly written, and so on. Downvotes are not to convey your disagreement. – J A May 7 '18 at 11:21
  • 6
    On main, that is correct (also for the reason of "not useful" as per the tooltip). If you're complaining about this answer, on meta answers downvotes are absolutely used to indicate disagreement. – Em C May 7 '18 at 13:06
  • I definitively agree with you. Thanks ahah, but as you can see those ideas are not shared a lot among IPS fellow... – user14435 May 7 '18 at 13:09
  • 1
    Yeah, the thing is, I've noticed the site is already being used for these other type of questions, sometimes allowed, some others not allowed, totally depending on the subjective sensibilities of the moderators, shown by their emotionally charged comments being similar to "why would you try to blablabla?" and other ways that show indignation. Sometimes the person asking is simply being honest accepting they did something wrong and the mods tend to put their questions on hold as punishment. This is not "Patronize Me SE". – J A May 7 '18 at 16:11
  • Oh and thank you for the clarification Em – J A May 7 '18 at 16:12

You must log in to answer this question.