How to politely tell a friend that I want to hang out with her, but not invite others?

This question has been closed as unclear what you're asking.

The reason seems rather weird to me, because OP has explained a problem, a goal to achieve, and asked a question related to IPS. It's nicely and clearly worded.

Of course, OP can only provide us with his side of the story, because he doesn't know why this girl behaves the way she does or even what she thinks. So there can be only details from OP's POV. Nevertheless, this short background and question seem to fit into an overall acceptable topic suited for IPS.

Even though people who answered chose to challenge OP, it was their choice not to directly answer the premise of the question. But it seems clear enough to be answered by whoever chooses to go straight to the point, reading the title/question.

My questions:

  1. What are the really important pieces of information missing that led to close?
  2. Can this question be reopened?
  • 1
    The "/455" part of the url is your own user id and is used in these short links to track who shared the link. The question's id is only 13889. I'm surprised you don't know that, being as Old and wise as you are :p (and nobody else pointed that out?) May 16, 2018 at 16:23
  • @user1306322: nice catch :) wrong C/P
    – OldPadawan
    May 16, 2018 at 17:07

1 Answer 1


I agree with Tinkeringbell.

The question is not clear at all.

The variety of guesses about the OP's intentions in the myriad of deleted comments on the question and the answers that do the same show that, while many want to answer, there's insufficient information to write a good one.

Your answer says that she's afraid to be alone with the OP, while another one says that she doesn't want to be alone with him unless they're explicitly dating each other.

Everyone's grasping at straws, guessing at her intentions and the OPs intentions... that's really a huge signal to me that the question is unclear and lacks detail. If it gets reopened without editing, I'd close it again.

  • 2
    Aren't you guys closing because of the answers rather than the question itself on this one? That's what seems weird to me. Maybe we (people who answered) should see our answers be DV'd, because we chose to challenge by interpreting the feelings of one party involved. What does OP miss then? What more details? I'm puzzled here...
    – OldPadawan
    May 4, 2018 at 21:18
  • 3
    Tinkeringbell wrote all of that in comments on the question.
    – Catija
    May 4, 2018 at 21:22
  • “The variety of guesses about the OP's intentions” don't matter. OP's intention is to tell a friend "I want to hang out with you but not other people", period. Anything else is speculation and hardly belongs here. May 18, 2018 at 13:52

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