-9

The context of this Question How do I respond to "if you had kids with a white girl, they’d look like [the guy next to me]"? is abundantly clear to an individual whom has experienced one or more interactions of the same or similar ilk.

Simply because one or more users or moderators are ignorant as to the context of the inquiry

I’d like to understand her motivation for saying that, but I didn’t ask about it at the time and it would seem odd to bring it up again in the future.

does not mean that you should place the Question "on hold" or delete answers which provide an appropriate answer to the Question:

Even though it’s unlikely the remark would happen again, what in retrospect could I have said or retorted?

Your collective conduct of deleting questions and answers is effectively censorship of contexts which you clearly have not experienced and do not understand in the least bit.

The appropriate action for users and/or moderators whom do not understand a subject matter or context is to do what you did in the first instance: ask what the context is.

The inappropriate action is to delete comments and answers which provide answers to your purported requests for clarification where the users whom voted to place the Question "on hold" and/or to delete an Answer to the Question still do not understand the Question - as you simply have no experience as to the subject matter or cultures involved.

Kindly un-delete the above-linked Answer, and remove the "on hold" mask/flag for the Question itself. The Question is not a simple one to ask, consider the reasons therefor, process accordingly and make a rational and informed decision as how to act get the answers OP is seeking. A user is using your site in an attempt to get answers, your site has closed the Question for no other reason than your collective ignorance of the context and subject matter - while simultaneously deleting the one Answer which provides a clear path for OP to follow to get their answers and then make their own decisions moving forward.

22

Simply because one or more users or moderators are ignorant as to the context of the inquiry does not mean that you should place the Question "on hold"

No, that's precisely what the "Unclear What You're Asking" close reason is for. Enough people with close-vote privileges thought it was unclear and voted as such, so now it's on hold. That's how the system works. And if enough people think it is clear enough as-is, they can cast reopen votes and reopen it.

Better yet, there are several long comments requesting clarification, which the OP has not yet responded to. Perhaps once OP edits their question to include that information more people will think it is clear and acceptable to reopen.

Placing a question on hold is not "censoring". It is moderating. The community feels the question is too unclear to adequately answer, so they are waiting for OP to clarify before allowing people to opine.

The inappropriate action is to delete comments and answers which provide answers to your purported requests for clarification where the users whom voted to place the Question "on hold" and/or to delete an Answer to the Question still do not understand the Question - as you simply have no experience as to the subject matter or cultures involved.

Comments: You're not the OP, as far as I can tell. Therefore, you can't tell us what the context for OP's situation was. You might be right -- or you might be wrong, and if we let people answer based on your interpretation of OP's scarce details they would be totally useless answers to the OP. So we need to get the information from OP, not some random user.

Your answer: Are you "an individual whom has experienced one or more interactions of the same or similar ilk"? Because that was missing from your answer, see meta posts about "Back It Up" rules: Do we want references in our answers? and Should we encourage writing from experience?. This site often deletes answers which only provide a suggestion and don't explain why, because of reasons in those metas. And the last 2/3 of your answer is commentary on "mating" and not actually addressing the question which is... unnecessary, to say the least (apaul said it more tactfully than I can).

  • 3
    (Comments deleted.) Hi everyone. Em C wrote a nice answer to this meta question that hopefully addressed the points inquired about. If you want to comment on it, great, but let's stick to maybe asking questions/discussing the answer itself - this isn't a space to use for general discussion. Plus . . . if you find yourself going in circles for an hour, maybe it's time to step away for a little while. – HDE 226868 May 14 '18 at 17:15
  • @HDE226868 The above answer does not address how one edits a question to make it clear to individuals whom simply do not grasp or have no experience with the context of the inquiry in the first instance. – guest271314 May 14 '18 at 17:20
  • @guest271314 I mentioned in the second paragraph: there are a number of questions in the comments. The question could be made more clear by editing to answer those questions. – Em C May 14 '18 at 17:24
  • @EmC Referring to the comments, the original question neither asks "What should I say?" nor "What should I do?". Are you stating that the sentences at OP should be re-arranged to inquire into the formulation of "I’d like to understand her motivation for saying that" into a question? Since OP is trying to extract the other persons' reasons for making the statement? If that be the case, one course of action is directly to ask: "why does that matter to you?" which would elicit reasons for the statement, or none at all. – guest271314 May 14 '18 at 17:28
  • @guest271314 It asks "What could I have said?" which is essentially the same thing... but besides that, there's a bunch of unanswered questions in puck's comment asking for more context. – Em C May 14 '18 at 17:33
  • @EmC The moment has passed, yes; though "I’d like to understand her motivation for saying that" satisfies that the controversy is live in OP's mind. Solution: Ask them directly: "why does that matter to you?" – guest271314 May 14 '18 at 17:41
5

I flagged your comments and answer. So I'll take a stab at this.

Basically you assumed a lot of context, that wasn't in the question itself. You may have assumed correctly, or you may not have, we won't know till the querent returns to add additional information.

On top of that you worded your answer and comments in a way that could be interpreted as inflammatory and/or racist. I'd like to assume good intentions here, so let's just say they could have been worded a lot better in order to avoid those interpretations.

Admittedly it looked like you were attempting to use very detached, clinical sounding terms, but it's worth keeping in mind that when writing that way about "human mating" and "cultural compatibility" it can sound pretty... Problematic.

Further, scolding the people who flagged and removed those comments and answer and calling them "ignorant" compounds the problem. Probably better to ask for explanation rather than making up your own and running with it.

  • 3
    (Comments deleted.) Hi everyone. If you want to comment on this answer that's okay, but make it about the answer itself and not a general discussion, please. – Tinkeringbell May 15 '18 at 9:26

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .