Hi! This doesn't really focus on what has been asked. You should also keep Be Nice policy in mind while answering. OP is asking for a non-aggressive approach to reach the group. Telling OP to mind their business and leave is not a solution. Please take a look at the question and try to answer accordingly. Feel free to flag it for review for undeletion once you've improved your answer.
Kindly un-delete the answer as it provides a viable solution.
- Stop being nosy, especially at a bar.
- Leave the bar if you cannot stop being nosy.
- If you refuse to stop being nosy and refuse to leave the bar, "No", it is not possible to "to get guys in this sort of situation to chill out, without being aggressively confrontational" who are already "shouting". That is a recipe for, at the minimum, serious bruises.
Before going into a bar explicitly tell anyone who am with, "remember, we are going into a bar" and "mind your own business". If anyone were to approach our group at a bar with the ridiculous request to "quit shouting" we would be correct to draw the conclusion that they were being nosy, listening to our conversation, and would necessarily be prepared to brawl with them.
Am not sure why the answer was deleted? The environment described is a bar where alcohol is served (alcohol influences human behaviour), with a group of shouting people, not a monastery where silence and niceties are expected.
There is no possible way to approach a group of shouting people at a bar without being confrontational. The approach itself is confrontational. If you want to believe that there is a way to do so, that is fine, though not applicable in reality. If you are not prepared to brawl until you or the other party loses the brawl, then you had best keep your mouth shut. You certainly cannot predict what the other party will do, no matter how many "Interpersonal Skills" threads you read on the Internet. The bar is not the Internet with mod-squad to save you from getting wholloped, or having to whollop someone else to defend yourself.
Mind your business. Don't be nosy. You cannot control others behaviour.
It must be a bug in the system which deleted this answer. Or the moderator who deleted the answer has never actually experienced trying to approach a group of shouting people at a bar, or been apart of the group shouting at the bar that was approached by a stranger who asked the group to "quit shouting".
It is a bad idea to try to approach a group of shouting people at a bar to suggest they "quit shouting".
Here is the full text of the answer:
Is there a way to get guys in this sort of situation to chill out, without being aggressively confrontational?
From your own description of the other individuals' conversation at the bar you were being nosy in the first instance.
Mind your own business.
Leave immediately if you cannot help yourself from being nosy.
Or be prepared to brawl until either you or the other group leaves due to losing the brawl.
Have played chess in many different venues, from construction zones (try telling construction workers to stop shouting) to public parks to far more hostile environments, always with stakes on the line (generally do not play chess for free, unless playing with grandchildren when teaching them about the game). There is no chance in chess. There are no excuses in chess. Touch and move. You cannot undo your move. Have not once tried to blame noise or other peoples' activities on winning or losing a match of chess.
Some people (whom you apparently are not aware exist in this world; or maybe you are aware that they exist, thus why you did not approach those presumed ruffians as you obviously did not want to brawl with them) would not hesitate to immediately initiate a brawl when being approached (by friend, foe or stranger) at a bar being asked to "quit shouting", as that is a ridiculous request which on its face infers a challenge for a brawl.
you are describing is your own social ineptitude, not having anything to to with others' "shouting" or not "shouting". If you cannot handle the environment of a bar to play darts, then take the time to establish the venue that you prefer (though you still cannot control others "shouting" or doing anything they decide to do at that moment).