Actually I liked reading the question and answers, but you guys need to play fair rules with everybody or accepting interesting but not straight IPS questions.

EDIT : The whys :

  1. This answer is not explaining how to asks/say something in some ways, it's mostly a judgment and a solution about OP's problem, not ever offering IPS techniques to solve the issue.

  2. About the question, even if it's almost an IPS question, it's mostly asking for personal advices on a personal problem.

  • 1
    If you could point out why you think the question should be closed and the answer isn't suggesting an Interpersonal Skills approach? Right now, it's pretty unclear what you want to discuss here... Also, why haven't you flagged it for closure/left a comment if you feel the question isn't fit for IPS?
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Sep 11, 2018 at 9:54
  • 1
    See my edits. I believe we can almost use the same reason for almost every answers on this post. I don't know how to flag stuff on IPS and I actually don't really like the way IPS is moderated (but that's mostly personal, I already explained my point of view in the Meta)
    – user14435
    Sep 11, 2018 at 10:03
  • 2
    thanks for the edit. That helps. For the moderation, we have 5 moderators that can't be everywhere at once. Flagging will really help bring attention to community members, and eventually moderators (just like meta will, but flagging will actually put things in queues and that gets attention faster). To flag you click the 'flag' text underneath a question/answer, and a dialogue will pop up where (for questions) you can choose 'should be closed' and a reason why (you can write your own under off-topic/other.) Unless you're on mobile, this works.
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Sep 11, 2018 at 10:12
  • Edited to clarify my answer
    – apaul
    Sep 11, 2018 at 19:15

1 Answer 1


About the question...

The overall question is clearly stated and addressed towards the bottom of the post:

"How could I approach him with the topic again so he can understand my feelings and that he is not in a healthy relationship?"

This question is asking for interpersonal help (i.e. 'How do I communicate my feelings with another party'), has a clear goal, and has provided a lot of supplemental information about their situation (including what they have already tried). I actually don't really see a flaw with this question at all, given our site rules.

Most questions that get closed/'strictly moderated' tend to be questions that are open ended and are asking for general assistance without even defining a clear goal (i.e. 'Here's my problem, what should I do about it?'). The question you are concerned with in your post is not an offender of this, at all. OP has defined their problem, what they have tried, what their intentions/goals are, and what they can do going forward when addressing their friend - all makings of a good, on-topic question for IPS.

About the answer...

The answer, however, is a bit different than most standard answers we have here. It mostly fits into the description of a Frame Challenge, which you can find details for here: What is the difference between not answering a question and posting a frame challenge?.

The key with a frame challenge answer is that, if it isn't going to give the OP an answer to the question they were hoping for, it needs to provide sufficient information on why it is suggesting an alternative route. I, personally, would say that there is sufficient information in this answer to clarify why the writer is suggesting the OP do something different. Because of this, I would encourage downvoting it if you disagree with it.

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