In the recent question How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan? my answer got deleted.

I see the point of the answer not addressing the question of "how to communicate [...]" and adapted my answer by adding to it without changing the main points.

I could not start a vote on undeletion as it got moderator deleted.

Does addition to the answer suffice to be conform with the IPS answer requirements? I feel it addresses the main question fairly now, but maybe it is still lacking.

  • 2
    Did you flag it for moderation intervention and write a comment to submit for undeletion?
    – Jess K.
    Oct 4, 2018 at 12:31
  • @JessK. Comments are disabled in deleted posts, but I totally forgot about the flagging option. Thanks! I'll do that. Oct 4, 2018 at 12:40
  • 3
    On a side note: This doesn't look like it deserves those downvotes. It isn't tagged feature-request, so please don't use your votes to say whether or not you think the answer is okay, but provide actual feedback in answers. I find this an admirable post, we've seen far worse when it came to people asking about the deletion of very high scoring answers!
    – Tinkeringbell Mod
    Oct 5, 2018 at 7:49
  • 1
    @Tinkeringbell I was wondering, too why all the downvotes. I did not act all butthurt and agreed with the reason it got deleted for. I checked again and the question of "how to communicate" was already in the original form of the question and I did not adress that. That is obviously a flawed answer, despite people agreeing with the points I made. I might be new to IPS, but not new to StackExchange, I am aware that things usually do not get deleted because of a mods personal vendetta or opinion or something. Oct 5, 2018 at 7:52

2 Answers 2


The reason why it was deleted is indeed only because it did not address the question, and since you edited your answer to provide exactly what was missing, I think your answer is now almost perfectly fine and should be undeleted.

I said almost perfectly fine because there is no explanation why OP should do what you suggest. Why do you think this is a good way to go about the situation?
OP of the question has also given this exact critique to your answer in chat:

To conclude, I would say that, without the why, I would probably won't do want they say because we are talking about my relationship with my mother and I don't want to makes things worse.

So if you want to improve your answer further, this could be a place to start.

  • I read parts of the chat and reworked my answer. I do have a tendency to be very blunt and changed the wording significantly. Also, I added reasoning to why this approach is beneficial. Oct 5, 2018 at 13:58
  • @ArtificialSoul it's much better, thank you for your time and for you edit
    – Ael
    Oct 5, 2018 at 14:07

I saw that you edited your answer taking into account what was said in chat and I really appreciate that.

To make it even more perfect, I have some other remarks.

I feel like it still doesn't really explain why I should "be direct and honest" (even though everything else that you added is very interesting).

Also, I don't feel like that the "who is rude" part really add value to the post. Maybe you should consider getting rid of it? (other people might disagree).

  • It might have been a little rude, I rephrased the paragraph entirely, but still kept the points. And regarding the "why be direct and honest?" I think that is an approach that should not need elaborate reasoning. For me personally, direct and honest is the base approach (especially honest). You will not achieve anything in a social situation like this if you are not either convincing the other party or somehow coercing them to do what you want. The latter being generally bad. Of course there is a gradient between those two. Also: being direct avoids side issues. Focus on the topic ahead. Oct 5, 2018 at 21:48
  • @ArtificialSoul Thanks for the rephrasing :) For the "direct and honest" part, as I don't understand why I should be direct, not having that explanation in your answer does sadden me a little. Anyway, I think it's up to the moderator now to decide if your question is good to go or need more work (since I don't have anymore remarks).
    – Ael
    Oct 6, 2018 at 6:53
  • I'll look over it again later, when i have time. Maybe I can improve it a little. Oct 6, 2018 at 8:36

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