I'm trying to fix my question to make it on-topic for the site. Here is the link to my original question: How to ask an acquaintance on a date without committing to a relationship?

And while I was reading the "dont-ask" in the help center, I was told to avoid "asking an open-ended, hypothetical question: “What if ______ happened?”".

I read a couple of meta posts about hypothetical questions, mainly this one: Let's revisit our policy on hypothetical questions

The stance seems to be that hypothetical questions are discouraged, but good ones do exist, and a good hypothetical question would inform about a situation that is likely to happen in the nearby future.

I wrote the question for myself, since I originally had it a few years ago. Back then I decided not to ask the girl on a date, because I didn't want to commit to a relationship, but if I had the communication skills I do now, I think I would have gone ahead and asked for a date.

Is this question too hypothetical and non-useful because it is a long past situation? Since it happened a few years ago, and most of the circumstances have changed, is this useless, hypothetical speculation on a situation that will likely never happen?

1 Answer 1


Your question is still closed because you edited the title, but not the questions you ask in the question body. So, the body is still asking whether there is a problem, instead of focusing on the interpersonal skills needed to solve a problem.

You're also asking whether there are 'other ways to get to know her first', which muddles the question (do you want to ask her on a date or not?), and at this point your question lacks the necessary details for it to be answerable: Within the confines of the interactions you had, what interpersonal skills did you already use to get to know her better? How did that turn out, how did she react to that?

You also commented that you've reworded the question to fit your self-answer. Your self-answer also still talks about how this is okay to do. So again, it's focused on whether there is a problem, not on the interpersonal skills needed to solve one.

Also, that comment states the answer to your question should be 'that casual dating is the interpersonal tool to use'. But your edited title asks how to do this thing you call casual dating. There's a mismatch between the two: You're asking 'how do I do X' and then you say the answer should be 'X is called casual dating and I think it's totally okay to do'. Also, questions where the 'only' answer is a word/technique to use that don't invite answers to explain why or how, are not Good Subjective questions.

It's not that your question is too hypothetical, but it's just a mess of incoherent bits and pieces as described above. The edit, comment and answer point the post in several different directions, some of which are off-topic on this site, others are lacking the details needed to answer them at least semi-accurately. I can at least tell you that for no question you could ask on this site, the acceptable answer is going to be 'it's called this, here's an xkcd that mentions it without explaining the concept'. That simply doesn't meet the citation expecations or Good Subjective question guidelines as described in the blog post above. Also, if that comic had explained what casual dating actually is, you'd be aware that it's not an interpersonal skill to use but a term used to describe a certain kind of relationship status.

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