47

On the one hand, I'm sorry to see you go because... selfishly I suppose... I saw you as potentially a hugely positive influence on the site. On the other hand, you clearly haven't been happy here in a while, and that tends to thwart even the best of intentions. So thanks for sticking it out this long, and thanks for not pushing yourself to stick it out ...


36

From one retired line cook to another, I'm pretty damn sorry to see you go. I saw you shooting flares up, I saw you doing what you thought was right, and at the same time I knew that trying to fight that sort of thing in the trenches, battle by battle, was only going to tire us out and drag it into a war. I guess the TL;DR is that Stack Exchange has a ...


34

I'm sorry this wasn't the right community for you - or, at least, that it currently isn't. I've been quieter the last few weeks because this site has been a huge struggle for me for various reasons and I don't want you to leave thinking that I don't hear you. I do. I hear you so loudly it hurts because I don't know what to do to fix it. I've spent the last ...


18

I don't particularly like answers that say "There's no interpersonal solution here." Two points spring to mind: It's very, very hard to show that there's no interpersonal solution to an interpersonal problem. It's very, very easy to claim that there isn't and then write a non-IPS answer. Problems arise when people think "Hm, I can't come up with a good ...


15

Your answer fails the most important test: Answers must answer the question What's the question: Title: How do I effectively get people to look past my age when considering my abilities, if they know how old I am? How do I get them to trust my abilities despite my age? Your answer is: I'd recommend showing that you are qualified to moderate through your ...


14

As there's no real question here, but only some POV, pros and cons points, I'll just address some of these points, hopefully to challenge your claims. But I also had lots of comments and answers deleted. Mostly not because they were rude but because it seems I did not follow this rule or that rule or this and that guideline... Yes. This stack has ...


13

I'm the moderator who deleted your answer. Let me first include the original form, in its entirety: He's not going to stop liking it, and refusing to do it inside a marriage is selfish - marriage is about making the other person happy. I'm sure you can think of things that he does for you that he'd rather not do. You not desiring it is NOT selfish, though. ...


13

Here is the text of the answer, verbatim: On Slack, you can copy the URL of an earlier message and paste it into the chat, and Slack will quote the earlier message along with a timestamp. This is the approach I take if asked a question I have already replied to. Instead of replying again, I just paste the link to the earlier message in, which makes it clear ...


12

As @tinkeringbell commented below your answer (and UV by 5 persons): I think what this answer seems to be lacking is an explanation of why this will end the date both graceful and without hurting feelings. You're dealing with someone that doesn't know how to do so, try to provide them with the skill to recognise what is graceful and what not, instead of ...


11

Your answer wasn't deleted because it violated the be nice policy. A mod left a comment explaining why the answer was deleted and what was needed to edit the answer to qualify it for undeletion. They even explained the fastest route to get the answer undeleted once you've edited it. You were informed March 29th via comments that there were problems with ...


11

Here is the review task for your answer: 6 out of 6 reviewers recommended deletion. That's what the "as recommended by the community" part referred to. Post score is not an indication of well-supported, quality answers, as defined by site policy, so please don't use that as your barometer. People may be voting simply because they agree with the action ...


10

I wasn't involved, but I would have flagged it for deletion if I'd seen it. First off, you answered an off-topic question. Note that the other answer there responds to an on-topic IPS question, apparently based on comments; that's not ideal either, as the question hasn't actually been edited to ask that, but it at least tackles an IPS issue. Your answer ...


9

It looks like your answer was deleted because it was rude and failed to address the question. Your answer was effectively a "don't do that" which was already covered in more than one answer, with some unrelated experience about chess tacked on... Beyond that, you equated being annoyed by people shouting at full volume with eavesdropping, which doesn't make ...


9

We've discussed answers like that, at length, before. The most notable post is most likely Should we be more strict about one-line answers?. A good subjective answer meets a few points, described here. I'm going to quote one: Great subjective questions tend to have long, not short, answers. The best subjective questions inspire your peers to share ...


9

As Tinkeringbell said in their comment. I think what this answer seems to be lacking is an explanation of why this will end the date both graceful and without hurting feelings. On this site we have an expectation that answers be more substantive than just saying "Try this". In practice this is most commonly done by providing examples from personal ...


8

I'll try one last time. Saying 'the skill you're looking for is X and here's a list of stuff to do' isn't an answer. You're making grocery shopping lists, and writing down recipes. 'You need a mixer. Add eggs, flour, milk, mix'. From Good Subjective, Bad Subjective: Sharing an experience takes at least one paragraph; ideally several paragraphs. If I’m ...


8

In this specific case, write a new answer I found two pretty polarizing cases from Meta.SE. One, Is it OK to write a new answer after I deleted a downvoted one earlier on? is answered with: Yes, definitely write a new answer. While another, Deleting a bad answer & posting new vs editing, is answered with: No, by all means that is the last thing you ...


8

We require answers on IPS to provide backing up explanation as to why what you're suggesting in your answer would work in OP's situation. It helps in preventing usage of inadequate solutions to a given issue. This is why, as of now, neither I or the other mods could undelete your answer. You say you don't want an explanation as to why your answer got ...


7

I'll say no, for the sole reason that if you remove the rude/abusive parts, there's nothing left. I'm going to talk about this even while leaving context about this user out of it. The first two paragraphs seem . . . fine. They're just talking about legal aspects (which I am not familiar with, and so cannot judge based on correctness). It's talking about ...


7

Here is how you can view your recently deleted answers: If this looks like too much work for you, you can go to this link (replacing 4957 with your user number): https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users/recently-deleted-answers/4957


7

The comments explain this. One user mentioned: And why this won't be seen as too friendly (a personalized gift does sound friendly to me as you took the time to really think about it) and won't be seen as rude by the other coworker? and I would still like to know how spendy time thinking of a personal gift to offer will be seen as less weird than ...


7

I see a mod simply deleted the answer. I'm the one that deleted that answer, after it was again flagged for being not in line with what makes a good subjective answer. As it was already flagged before, it wouldn't have ended up in the review queues for the community to take care of, so I took care of the flag. I'd like to point out that I never 'simply' ...


7

The minimum possible amount of time This might sound strange or harsh at first, but hear me out here... Removing an answer not fit for the site quickly will A. Protect that answer from receiving more downvotes and B. Protect the asker (or others reading it) from trying to use that unproven advice. Let's take your deleted answer for example. You recommend ...


6

Generally, if your answer was deleted by a moderator and you believe that the problem is now resolved, you should flag your answer, explaining the situation and pointing out that you think you've resolved the issue. This is also noted on the FAQ on Meta Stack Exchange about deletion: Normally, if your deleted post is not self-deleted, you can't undelete it ...


6

I suspect the problem is that your answer doesn't actually offer an interpersonal solution, which is what this site is all about. So while yes, the cooling vest would solve the immediate "I am too warm" part of things, that's an intrapersonal solution as it doesn't actually respond to the "I need to get the fan back, and that means dealing with the people ...


6

I was the moderator who deleted the answer; I should explain my reasoning. The question comes from someone interested in cross-dressing who's asking about deflecting awkward questions he receives while making purchases (e.g. "Who are you buying these for?"). Your answer was How do I deflect such questions politely and without public ...


6

After thinking more about it, the biggest issue of all with this deleted answer is that it doesn't define any use of interpersonal skills... These are all tasks the OP could do by themselves, no interpersonal action required. It doesn't cover how to engage with the team about these items at all, which is really the most pressing part of this question. ...


6

Actually, no. Users won't get notified of their deleted answer. From this Main meta answer for What events trigger an inbox notification?, Posts "answer" Another user answers one of your questions, or a question on which you have an active bounty. "question migrated", "answer migrated" One of your posts is migrated to ...


6

Four hours after you posted your answer, a mod left the following comment As this is a frame challenge, can you add to your post what typically happens, in your experience, when you have tried to get someone to change their behaviors? and when asked by another user about it, the mod clarified with I understand that's his claim, but the only supporting ...


Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible