Let's close questions asking how to word/phrase something

Question

I've posted two different answers here now with this recommendation and both of them have a lot of upvotes. To repeat:

I'd like to introduce a rule that I think we should consider. We are not here to be copy editors. We are not here to redraft emails, write speeches, tell you what to say. We're here to help people determine for themselves the best way to phrase something; to give advice for researching how to find the arguments you need. We're not here to come up with the argument or to put words in mouths.

If the goal of a question is "tell me what to say" or "re/write my email for me" - we should not answer these questions. These are the equivalent of the Stack Overflow "Give me teh codez" questions.

Many of these questions can be reworded in ways that will be more helpful to the general public but if all we're doing is rephrasing their email for them or telling them the words to say, we're not teaching them how to write those emails or find the words themselves.

To add to that, there is likely an infinite way to word these - none of which are likely more objectively "correct" than the others - and they need to take into account all of the concerns, which means that the perfect wording for one person will likely fail to help another. We need to be encouraging people to ask how they can write these themselves - what they should consider, etc.

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If these are considered off topic, we should create a FAQ that will be used to guide users who have their questions closed for this reason in how to improve their questions.

We should also give guidance to our close voters about how to close these questions. Do they fit under a default close reason or do we need a custom close reason and, if so, what should it say?

Answer 1

I disagree, with a caveat.

How to phrase something is a VITAL interpersonal skill. As growing up with Asperger's syndrome, I learned that HOW you phrase something is sometimes even more important than what your point is.

Or, as it was put to me, people won't pay attention to you if you come across as a jerk.

How to phrase something all goes to the interpersonal skill of TACT. To this day, I am occasionally admonished over HOW I phrase something. Just look at chat. HOW to phrase something is an essential social and interpersonal skill.

I disagree with the assertion that helping someone rephrase something is necessarily like "U give me codez", code is much easier to find out there than IPS.

Now the caveat

While I do think we should help people out with phraseology, I do think we should also include backing it up with a "why this works" bit.

Also, we don't have to write them a script to respond with a good "how".

If you must criticize your employee, do it in private, begin with noting something he's done well, then go on to tell him that you've noticed he's been late this past week and ask him if there is anything going on and if you can help him address it.

is much different than

when you talk to him, phrase it like this "Joe, you've really been working like a champion lately. The reason I want to talk to you is that I've noticed you've been coming in late. Are you having troubles at home? Is there something I can help you with?"

and even in cases where you go for this option ^^^ you can still say

Notice that I began in a positive way, then addressed the issue, then asked to help. This is a method of criticism as outlined in {Some author's} book {Title}. This is an effective assertive way of getting the point across without being confrontational.

Answer 2

I believe that one of the better models to follow on this is the "Identify this" questions from Movies and TV SE.

Identify-This-X Questions

Identification questions are currently on-topic for this site in regards to identifying actors, movies, TV shows, and specific episodes of TV shows. ID questions must be as descriptive as possible and should not consist of only an image for detail. Important details to include are:

Plot details of any scenes you remember

Descriptions of any characters or locations

Where you watched the movie or TV show

When you watched the movie or TV show

Any idea of how old it was

Any idea of country of origin (if known)

Whether it was animated or not

Any other distinctive detail

Also try to give the question a meaningful title that already includes key identifying details (e.g. description of a character, setting or plot) and avoid generic titles like "name of horror movie". See this question to get a feel of what we expect from a well rounded Identify-This-* question.

If we clarify what bullet points we expect out of a good IPS question, then this kind of model would fit well with helping to keep things in scope and avoid tons of "why was my post closed" on meta from a generic "Well, it's off topic".

Answer 3

I think you make a very good analogy to the gimme codez problem.

I think we can use the same principles that SO does.

• Does the question show that they've put in some effort to resolve it?
• Is the question asking us to do something FOR them as apposed to showing them HOW to do something? How, is fine, for is not.
• Can the question be edited into a "how" style question? If so, we should edit
• As I agree that there could be any number of wordings, the technique should be focused on instead.

EXAMPLE OF FOCUSSING ON WORDING

"Dear John, I just wanted to thank you for the widgets you sent us last week, unfortunately, we have too many widgets as it is, and simply cannot take any more into our house. We appreciate all the effort you've made and this kind act, so we wanted to let you know that instead of keeping the widgets, we are donating them to 'women without widgets' in your name, thank you.

EXAMPLE OF MECHANICS

Okay, you want to thank John for his gift, then explain that you can't keep it and why, let him know that you're going to donate them instead, and then thank him again.

If we do the latter instead of the former, we can avoid headaches.

Answer 4

I'm fine with closing answers that ask for what is essentially proofreading. Although this can be fun, we aren't here to teach English skills or write copy, but rather to teach general principles.

That being said, I can't tell you how many times my wife and I have helped each other phrase difficult observations or requests which are likely to cause offense but must nevertheless be said. A facility with diplomatic language is perhaps the most sought-after interpersonal skill on this forum, and questions should not be closed for asking for a general kind of help.

On a side note: if asked why, those choosing to close a question should be able to point to a resource in the "Help" section, and quote chapter and verse. New users can't be expected to browse every topic in Meta first, since A) that's far too time-consuming, and B) Meta should be about discussion of rule changes, not for the changes themselves.

To be fair, this is already in the help center and written in what I think is clear language. Nevertheless I think there are some users who remain confused about the distinction between general help and editing copy. Moreover there are others who seem to feel that a Meta discussion is sufficient justification for closure. Please see the comments under this question:

How to tell a family member that he shouldn't get married with his girlfriend?