Alright folks... Once again, not liking the perspective of the OP is not a reason to close a question

Question

Can I tell my girlfriend that I'm too lazy to meet up?

This question was just closed for being "primarily opinion based."

Admittedly it could use some fleshing out, some details would have been nice, but is it really any more opinion based than any other question on the site?

Looking at the comments I get the feeling that this was another case of "I don't like the perspective of the the OP, this needs to go away, I'll vote to close..." Close votes are not super-down-votes, that point has been discussed to death on other meta sites, but it looks like we may need to have that discussion here.

Not liking a question is not a reason to close. It may be a repugnant perspective and you may have loads of good reasons to object, but that's not yet an established close reason. If you think It should be, open a meta question about it. Please don't shoehorn.

If the close reason doesn't fit, you must acquit.

Answer 1

I hadn't set eyes on the question until I saw this meta post, so this is a new perspective. I see several issues with it.

It's not clear.

Perhaps it's just me, but I don't understand the question itself.

Two sentences in that post have question marks. One is the title:

Can I tell my girlfriend that I'm too lazy to meet up?

What does "Can I" mean? Does it mean "Is it physically possible to"? Does it mean "Would it be culturally acceptable to"? Does it mean "Should I"?

The other question is in the body:

Is it really that strange?

That's not about interpersonal skills. Asking whether another person's behavior is weird is probably off-topic for IPS.

I've read the question three times, and I don't really get what it's asking. That's a problem. Verdict? Possible closure as Unclear What You're Asking.

It doesn't specify enough.

There are many details we don't know enough about:

• Cultural background.
• Prior dates and meetups.
• The ages of the parties, as well as any other relevant details about them.

These are all indicators that an IPS question is too vague. Verdict? Possible closure as Too Broad.

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Vylix brought up something that I'd like everyone to keep in mind:

As the question phrased right now, I think the closure is right. Remember that we should close questions as soon as we see problem to prevent people answering. If you see editing can bring out the answerable question, go ahead. Don't mind the closure, it's temporary.

If a question still needs fixing, we shouldn't answer it. If it needs more details or clarifications or narrowing-down, we should work to do that before we start answering. That's the whole point of putting something on-hold - to give everyone time to fix the problem so the question can get better answers.

That's also why it's called "On hold" - the label "Closed" isn't applied for several days. It's meant to remind everyone that the point isn't to permanently stop answers, but to give a chance to improve the question,

Answer 2

Ex Software Recommendations pro-tem mod here - with experience on a site with an odd scope, I don't think these actions are wrong, especially as it was the community, rather than an individual.

And... from an outsider's perspective, there's a fundamental issue with questions like that. There's good subjective, bad subjective, and using the internet as your magic 8 ball for every situation (and being bad subjective).

Practically speaking every single question here would be subjective in some manner - much like SR having every question being a purchase recommendation. We got yelled at for too many questions that were too vague. This question is vague, and not really that useful outside OP's very specific situation.

As a beta site, one of the goals is to work out what the scope of the site is, especially when dealing with subject material like this. Its tough to change the culture of the site after the early days, and getting it right to start with helps a lot.

A good subjective question shouldn't be "Oh darn, I messed up, WHAT DO I DO AGONY INTERNET".

A good question is deep, and has a general sense of usefulness. It is generally useful - and here a certain degree of broadness is useful.

Reading through that - its not really a question, its a attempt to get affirmation for his choices. Its definately subjective (we don't know his girlfriend, or how often this happens) as all things are, but the question isn't really answerable outside "yes, you did right" or "you dun goofed son. You'd be best buyin flowers for the lady"

In addition, is disingenious to attack closevoters - its about the post and issue, not the voters.

Admittedly it could use some fleshing out, some details would have been nice, but is it really any more opinion based than any other question on the site?

Agreed. And if you do, perhaps rather than attacking the closure, working towards improvement and reopening would be a start.

Answer 3

There is no answer to that question. Depending on the person, the answer will be different.

The OP has already said that his girlfriend was mad at him. So, the answer is, for that woman, it is not acceptable.

But if you ask ten different women you are as likely to get ten different answers. And each answer will be wrong if it isn't what the OP's girlfriend thinks because it is her choice to be mad at him, regardless of whether this community tells him he did something that was acceptable or not.

This is the definition of "primarily opinion based". The closure is correct.

Answer 4

I feel like I should throw in my $0.02 since I answered the question.. After the post and initial comments, I interpreted the question as:

Why would my girlfriend get upset after I told her I was too lazy to meet up?

Yes, the sentence ending with a question mark was "Is it really that strange?", which is opinion-based. So I asked OP in comments what the goal was, with reply:

for me lazyness and telling her this as the reason not to come over is just fine. For her not, she would have expected a little lie (like not feeling well) in order not to come over. question is who is right

With that context, it seemed to me that the real issue was "I don't understand why this would bother her. Was it rude of me to say/do that?". We've had plenty of other questions like that on this site before which were not closed, for example

• Is it rude to “sexile” someone the night before a test?
• Saying "No" to someone who refuses to let up
• Is it bad that I called someone who (kind of) works above me, “buddy”?

All of those questions follow the formula of "Here's an incident that happened, is what I said/did appropriate?"

At the time I felt like there was enough information to post a good answer so I did. After reading further comments on the question and this meta, I do agree there are more details which could affect the situation somewhat (although I'm fairly confident it wouldn't completely invalidate my answer) - however, that should be a "too broad" or "unclear" closure, not "opinion-based".

Answer 5

Not liking a question is not a reason to close. It may be a repugnant perspective and you may have loads of good reasons to object, but that's not yet an established close reason. If you think It should be, open a meta question about it. Please don't shoehorn.

When I don't like a question, do you know what I do?
You seem to think so.
I ignore it and move on.

If a question is "repugnant"?
I flag that question for deletion and downvote it.

If I personally disagree with the OP's point of view but find their post is meritorious I might upvote or post an answer disagreeing with the OP and explaining (brusquely) why. Which is the case here.

If the question is merely asking for users' opinions and not how to improve, mend, resolve or respond to a determinate situation?

The OP concluded his post with this basic request:

Is it really that strange?

That is a question asking for "yes" or "no" answers. The question is off-topic, as I understand it, and the most suitable reason for closure was POB.